Three years ago today my husband and I exchanges vows in front of our family and friends, pledging our love and commitment to each other for the rest our lives.
Aww… Aren’t we cute? 😉
In light of this, I just had to write a post about marriage today! That only makes sense.
Just the other day I realized that we now have more time under our belts a married couple with a child than a married couple without a kid. Parenthood definitely threw us for a loop and made a lot of unexpected changes to our relationship with each other. The past two years have been both challenging and exceptionally beneficial to our marriage.
It’s amazing how much “real life” can teach your about each other and about your relationship. I thought I would share some insights that I’ve discovered as we made the transition from a married couple to a family.
What I’ve Learned About Marriage Since Becoming a Parent
- Communication dies if you don’t talk. Okay, this statement is a bit obvious. The thing is, even though we know that we need to talk, making the time to do so can be difficult while juggling the ever-changing schedule of a growing family. It is important to set aside time to do more than discuss the next week’s events or trade stories of how good (or terrible) your day was. As humans, we tend to have a lot of unspoken expectations. Getting these out in the open is absolutely necessary to be able to love and serve one another in a godly manner.
- Date nights don’t make a marriage strong. Yes, you read that right. In spite of popular advice, we haven’t had a real out-of-the-house date night without our daughter since becoming parents almost two years ago. Seriously. And our marriage has survived–even thrived–through this season. We have made time to connect with each other and put a priority on reading the Bible and praying together almost every night. Our commitment to keep the Lord at the center of our marriage is what keeps our marriage strong. It is only through the power and grace of God that our marriage will continue to thrive. Date nights are optional.
- Laughter makes almost any situation better. Like it says in Proverbs 17:22, “A joyful heart is good medicine.” When things get hard as parents and a married couple, sometimes we just need a good laugh. My husband is much better about this than I am, but he is usually pretty good finding something humorous to do or say to get me to crack a smile. Obviously, there are some situations that don’t warrant humor, but learning to deal with difficulty with a positive outlook makes a huge difference.
- Prayer is a relationship saver. Praying together unites your souls as you come before the Lord to seek His guidance or intercede for others. Even if you don’t like to pray in front of other people (raises hand), I highly recommend praying with your spouse on a regular basis. Along with this, I have found that praying for myself in my role as a wife and praying for my husband every day is extremely beneficial to our marriage. Never under-estimate the power of prayer.
- Things will get better in the bedroom . I rarely talk about the physical side of marriage. I don’t believe s-e-x is a bad word, but I do want to respect my husband by protecting the privacy of our relationship. And I don’t like to offend any readers that may deem this an inappropriate subject. However, it is a part of marriage–or at least should be–and the quality and quantify of it will affect your relationship. Parenthood will definitely cause a lot of changes in this area of your marriage and communication (as mentioned above) is key to resolving any issues that
maywill arise. (See below for some helpful resources in this area!)
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Also, I have to add that life as a parent may cause you to (almost) forget about your anniversary! It seriously happened over here folks. And NO, it was not my husband! Both of us came to the realization just a few days ago that we had forgotten make plans for our anniversary. It totally snuck up on us. So, we are celebrating later this week when my hubby has a day off. I think we might even get a date night out of the house! If not, I’ve got plenty of at-home ideas to choose from! 🙂
What have your learned about marriage since becoming a parent?